“New way home…”

I haven’t written anything here for quite a long time. I started a blog that was supposed to be about my life here in Belgium, but happened to be more of a blog about 30STM somehow. That was predictable though. Sorry uncle, I failed 😉

But now, this entry is going to be completely about living in Brugge, because, I wanna write about moving. Yes, I left the shelter I was protected in for almost 9 months. It was a time to give a birth to that child and just start my life in my place, to make some step forward, to take care of myself. Well, lets see where that’ll take me 😉

I had plans of moving out for a long time, but I was afraid. And I couldn’t do that until I got a vast contract at work. I did. Hooray. So as a next step I started to search for a flats. It’s not that it was bad there where I lived, it was great. I love those people and the place and the dinners and the conversations during washing dishes… But I had to change something, it is my life, I need to start living for my own 🙂 Besides, I didn’t want those people to hate me, right? I damaged few things (I am miss disaster, period), I complained, was pessimistic mostly about everything.
I moved here two weeks ago, but I had no internet for all the time, which was so frustrating. And that was also the reason I didn’t write anything here. But having no internet for that long taught me that I can live without it. Ha, I can live without internet. Can anyone else do that? Didn’t think so 😛

The flat is not big, just a small hallway, living room, bedroom, small kitchen and microscopic bathroom, but I like it. It’s in the center of Brugge, I have 10 minutes walk to work now and even less to school. There are parks around to walk, shopping streets are close too, seems like I’ve found a perfect location 🙂 The flat is in old building, with old wooden windows, old furniture (except new bed and new black huge sofa) but I like it and I feel like home here cause it’s similar to the flat I lived in during my 3 last years of studies. And I have great memories from that place. With all my friends that I miss very much. I hope I’ll have nice memories from this place too. For now I live here alone, but in August my best friend is coming to live here with me and start her new live here in Belgium too. Because there’s nothing left for us in Poland. We cannot build our future there. The only sad thing is leaving family and friends there… Do I feel lonely here being all by myself? No. I never had problems with being alone. I like being alone. Maybe I like it too much. Besides if I wanna company I can always go to the family I used to live with 🙂 They were very helpful all the time, they still are and I really appreciate that. Besides, I hope they don’t think they got rid of me, not possible 😉

So, that’s it! 🙂

Now I just have to figure things out like paying, I mean to not forget paying, paying on time, and especially managing all those payments that are in Dutch (not English.. and I have no friend to go downstairs and ask ‘what the hell that means?’). I also have to buy few things like vacuum cleaner, iron, some glasses, etc. At the same time I have to start speaking Dutch finally, I know the basic, right? I just have to push myself to talk. Would be easier of everyone spoke the way my teachers speak… And Flemish people don’t. Everyone pretty much speaks the way they want to and they ‘eat’ some endings of words or they combine them together so they sound like nothing I’ve learned or simply they speak dialect. And here you have almost as many dialects as people. Or at least as many as towns. Sometimes I want to make all those people feel ashamed by speaking perfectly in Dutch, while they still make stupid mistakes, just to show them how they destroy the language. But I still know they will tell me that it’s the beauty of it, not ugliness. Yup. I love to rant about this language so much. You should see how they make new words, how they combine 3 or 4 words to make one, without a space, like it’s a word that barely fits in a line… Anyway, speaking Dutch is my main goal for this year. I mean I have to speak Dutch before 2014 ends, before I go to American Embassy… ehm. That’s for later. 😀

And then I could find a job I like better than this. And maybe even I could start following more dreams at once, not just one at a time.

So, here I see the hope. I mean HOPE. For the future. Maybe it’s all gonna be ok at the end.

It’s just a spark, but it’s enough to keep me going.

And when it’s dark out, no one’s around…

…It keeps glowing.

Ps. Title is a title of Foo Fighters’ song apparently, and the lyrics at the end are from Paramore’s song “The Last Hope”.

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