Baby’s lullabies in the background and exhaustion are my companions while writing this post. My little baby boy sleeps, but he’s not fully calm. I still hear his little noises, sighs, movements in his stroller. Seems like he’s alert even in his sleep. I was supposed to lay down and nap myself, because he didn’t let me sleep much at night, but hearing him would make it impossible anyway. So I will share with you all a few thoughts on having a baby.
Our son’s name is Rafael, after the archangel. He was born on November 18th, at 2:47pm. He was 3960 g heavy and 50,5 cm long. A big, healthy boy. Our little angel, our little heartje.
I love his baby smell. I love how he smiles during sleep, like if he’s dreaming about angels, or heaven. I love how he looks widely awake at me, or next to me, with his dark eyes. I love his long dark hair. His beautiful face is to dream of, with big round eyes and full chubby cheeks. His little cute lips, funny small ears, button-like nose. I know every mother says that, but he’s literally the most beautiful baby I have seen. And he’s ours.
From the moment we found out I was pregnant, my love for this little angel grew, to become very real and palpable when he was put on my chest for the first time. I was relieved, tears of happiness rolled down my face, while I could finally kiss his chubby cheeks and hear his first cry. It’s true what they say about forgetting the pain of labor and delivery in that moment, it really didn’t matter at that time and was like a distant fogged memory. Don’t get me wrong, I remember the whole thing very vividly, I will in fact write the whole post about it one day, but when they put your baby in your arms, it just kind of doesn’t matter. You’re there, holding your precious gift from God, keeping him warm and giving him first meal. Skin to skin experience is something very emotional and extremely important. I am very happy my husband also held our boy in his arms, close to his chest, so that the baby could recognize his father as well, in the very first moments on the outside world.
Now our job is to protect him from bad, teach him being a good person and love him beyond infinity. We learn how to be decent parents on the way. How to keep being patient, which isn’t the easiest. We’re finding our new every day routine. Between crying, feeding, changing diapers, sleepless nights and doctor visits, we give him lots and lots of kisses, especially on his extremely kissable cheeks, and we love him to the moon and back. Or actually even further.
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