This post was supposed to show up here exactly on 18 November. I was too late writing it by then, so I decided to post in in the weekend right after that date. Was too late again, so I said ‘one week after his birthday is not such a big deal…’. But life with a baby is unpredictable and I am so busy all the time, so…
10 days ago (!!!) my baby boy turned one. One year old! The decorations are still in place, balloons hanging around or strolling on the floor, ‘happy birthday’ signs glued to the walls, and the lightbox still says “Rafael turns one”. I think I will leave it up until December and change for Christmas decorations 🙂
It has been a crazy year, a beautiful one, but also very hard and challenging. Having a baby is one thing, already a big deal. But having a baby in times of pandemic… That’s another level of worry. Having a baby in times of moving from one country to another, during pandemic, is extreme. But having him with me all the time during this chaotic year was the best thing that could have happened to me. He helped me survive the hard weeks during and after moving. He is my motivation to get up in the morning. He’s been the biggest blessing in our lives.
It’s crazy how suddenly I call myself a mommy. Before I saw my baby I was still considering myself a teenager who didn’t know what she wants from life. Well, not that much changed, but now I am a mommy who doesn’t know what to do with her life. And at least I know I wanna do what is best for my little boy.
I wish him many many years in health, joy and happiness. Lots of love that’s deeper than the ocean, little worries in life and peace in heart and soul.
I love you dearly, my little Malpiszonku (or Maupicienku as your daddy calls you).
Being your mother is a big honor.
But also… It’s like 100% of magic, 20% of sleep, 60% of feeling moved to the core of my heart, 10% of asking uncle Google all kinds of stuff about my baby, 10% of complete exhaustion and of course 100% of constant f*cking up my back.